Posted on by Cam

Mental Health

I often say to myself, “I need to look out for myself more than I do the people and business I work for,” but the truth is, a lot of companies don’t care if you’re mentally stressed. They don’t check on the people who work in information technology because all you’re thinking about is that the issue you have is worth screaming/stressing those people who put their lives on the line to keep the company going.

Now that I’m older, I’ve learned to set limits on what I’m willing to put my mind to. There were times when I let my work grind to a halt. I didn’t say anything, didn’t think I needed to take a break, and even when I did, I returned to a mountain of work or 99 problems and useless drama. Knowing that your coworkers didn’t know how to do their job effectively without you around.

Deep down, you know you’ve had enough. You know it’s okay to take a break during your workday to do something that relaxes your mind and helps you unwind from the pressures of work and home. No one outside of work knows what you go through when you come home. The only people who might know are the people you want to talk to about what’s going on in your life right now. Family and friends can be limited in their support, especially when they don’t know what you’re going through or what to do during your downtime.

Learning new ways to cope with your mental health is a life lesson in itself. I don’t have many people I can talk to and vent to. I used to write my feelings down in my journal and sometimes I would just listen to music or go for a drive just to get away from everything going on in my head.

There are resources for positivity to help you through what you are going through. I’ve gone to counseling to talk to a stranger and cry to let out some tears. I feel good knowing that this person is keeping my life information private. I’m not a private person and I don’t feel comfortable sharing all my business on social media for people who could care less about you. They just want to show you how perfect your life is when life isn’t perfect. We all experience things in life that are good and bad.

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Comfortable

Sorry I haven’t written anything in a long time but I have been going through a lot. I recently went to go see the Beyonce concert/movie this weekend and yes it brought me back together again. I was so happy that Beyonce did talk about the struggles Black women do have to go through and how so many times you have to keep repeating yourself to be heard or act in a manner that not professional to be heard.

I was so messed up inside that I didn’t have the courage to write or to be the “voice of reason”. I’m comfortable and comfortable with being me. It’s okay for others to accept certain people’s behavior and when you tell them how you feel or what’s bothering you but nothing’s been done to fix it.

I am not going to stop being me and if you can not accept me for the person who I am and I do not want anything to do with you. I have been at a few workplaces in my career and know I do a good job at what I do. Yet people still want to disrespect you for what you do and do not understand how much you have been through in your career and it’s not easy being a black woman in a corporate environment. One thing I am not going to do is let someone disrespect me and not speak up about how I feel especially if nothing is being done about what I am telling you about.

After listening to Beyonce speak about the challenges she faced as a black woman living in a predominantly white environment, I was motivated again. I will finish my book. I will continue to be the black woman who isn’t afraid to tell her story. I will be the black woman in my career who can help other women accept themselves and know that they are boss lady.

I’ll be done with my book by year’s end and I’m the boss girl. I’m on my way to continue to thrive and nothing will destroy my spirit or kill my mood. God has given me a special gift and a special mission. It won’t be easy, but me not speaking up about injustice in my industry will never end.

I hope whoever’s reading this knows that I’m back, and there’s nothing the devil can do to kill me, steal me, or ruin me. The evil will never win, and God yes, you will win for everything I’ve done and learned. And yet I keep going.

I hope I’ll keep inspiring others and continue to be that example to them so they know she didn’t let it hold her back.

I am officially back!!!

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Never Stop Dreaming

As a young girl in my teens I always knew what I wanted to do and found my passion. As a grown woman I have never stopped dreaming of reaching my career potential. It has not been an easy role but it was sure worth it.

I remember my mentor in college telling me nothing is easy and it comes with challenges especially if God is trying to elevate yourself. Yes is right about that for sure because I have come across challenges, obstacles in the road, and standstills to get here.

I am always talking to my sister about continuing to pursue her dreams and goals. I am still pursuing my dreams and goals and not going to give up no matter how hard things get. My time is coming and I am going to reach the top. I have been up and down in life. One thing I can do is come back stronger.

One of my favorite songs I added to this blog because it talks about “Never Giving Up”.

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Feel No Pain

I was getting ready to graduate from college at this time. I remember one of my professors telling us to make sure you got experience before graduating from college. That meant getting an internship.

Trust me I was trying to do that. This my first time experiencing discrimination at it’s finest. We would get all dressed up for career day/job fair day to go around and talk to recruiters from the companies who came to visit the HBCU (Historically Black College & University) I went to. Me and my classmates would go to also pick up free swag and map out who to talk to. One thing a lot of the companies would do was set the bar so high to get an Internship, G.P.A. (3.5 or higher). I did not have a 3.5 G.P.A. with a background in Engineering. We would go to our sister school that was 30 minutes away to get the opportunity to get a chance for an internship. Nobody was asking them for a G.P.A. at all for an internship opportunity.

Experiencing this made me realize that everyone is not treated equally in the workspace. I would be at my career fair disappointed knowing that fact that these companies were not trying to give minorities a chance to make an impact at their company or give us the chance to experience what corporate was like.

I do not get a job offer before I graduated and I deleted to apply for graduate school because I do not want to go back home because I did not like the situation that was going on in my hometown. I did not give up hope on trying to get experience when I got to graduate school. I went to the career fair and met with a few recruiters but this time was different. I got an email from one of the companies saying I was accepted for the internship program. I opened the email up and thought this must be a joke. I got a call from Career Services on campus regarding it. I was super excited to be given a chance finally.

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Using Your Gift

I’m moving higher
I’m going higher and higher
Closer to my dreams
Higher and higher

Everybody has a gift on Earth that has been giving to us. Getting there can sometimes take a lot of ups and down. But never give up on what you aspire to be. Keep pushing, think positive about it, and never give up.

As a Black Woman in a male dominated field it is easy to lose your focus. There have been times that I had to cry about my job or felt like quitting. My drive has kept me going because I love what I do. If I would have giving up, I would have never been able to pave a way for another woman to be able to set foot in the same role. Yes, I have paved a way at one of the companies that I have worked for. I was first woman to ever work in my area. I feel proud to represent other women no matter what your color is. We all are going to win in IT.

I remember wanting to quit pursuing me dreams in my field when I had to deal with the misogyny of what I love to do. It’s okay for the men to do what they want and still get paid even if it was nothing all day. I have had to work harder to prove that women belong in this area. I have fought the good fight. I remember being asked by one of the directors the following question: “Why do not women want to apply for roles in Information Technology?”. I responded because with the following with tears running down my eyes: “Women are not treated the same as men are and even if we work hard it still comes with misogyny because we can over perform in this field but not be promoted like the men.” I am not married and watched with my own eyes how they gave all the newly married men on my team promotions and raises. I took all that hate that had built up and created a wall at my house to remind myself that “I can do anything”.

God has giving me this gift and I want to continue to use my gift to do his will. Woman we are winning over hearts everyday and letting the workforce know daily how valuable we are. Life is never easy but you’re a winner in the end.

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Celebrating Women’s Rights

Often times guys forget that you are in the room or that you have an opinion. We do not live in the stone-age anymore. Women are being more independent in the workplace. Woman can do anything that they want to and determined to do. Women have fought for this moment for us to be able to have a voice.

Women in other countries who do not have a voice are starting to take that stand. We deserve to be respected on this earth. Women of Color and the Fight for Women’s Suffrage

All of us are beautiful and unique and all our own ways. We are thriving to better our lives and pushing to the top of the career ladder. We are wives, mothers, sisters, friends, and leaders. If you are a women making things happen you are a boss. Uplift your women friends and do not discourage them from reaching their goals and dreams. We all have many ups and down, twist and turns but have to remind ourselves and be positive about it.

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Posted on by Cam

Unstoppable

This song by Sia – “Unstoppable” plays ever time I get my car. Yes it reminds me everyday that I am Unstoppable and can do anything that I put my mind to. As the the lyrics play while I am in the car.

“I put my armor on, show you how strong how I am
I put my armor on, I’ll show you that I am

I’m unstoppable
I’m a Porsche with no brakes
I’m invincible
Yeah, I win every single game
I’m so powerful
I don’t need batteries to play
I’m so confident
Yeah, I’m unstoppable today
Unstoppable today
Unstoppable today
Unstoppable today
I’m unstoppable today”.

I was talking to a friend a few days and telling her how much I have been through in my career. My car reminds me everyday that I am unstoppable and that I am fighter. Yes I could have giving up my dreams a long time ago but I did not. I am here to show an all male dominant field that women have arrive and yes we are unstoppable. I think about a few areas in my life where I have paved the way for women to work a company.

I got this and will not give up on my career. I am going to reach the top and keep pushing to let women know we got this.

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Brand New Me

Letting go of the past is necessary in order to move forward in life. I am not perfect and yes I have made choices that I should have put more thoughts into it. Yes, God gives the freedom to make the choices we want freely. If it is not the right choice trust me God will let you know until you learn that lesson. Reflecting on my past and the lessons that I have learned.

Starting my career was not easy and I was not making enough in my field when I first started out. I would go to the career fairs at campus to look for an internship and felt that they had set the requirements so high for students at an HBCU and not the same requirements for a non HBCU student. I graduated with not much experience under my belt and felt the heat when it came looking for a job.

I would cry about not getting any offers after graduation and applying. I think God wanted to teach me lesson about it. I was in a stressful married at the time and trying to graduate. Yes, my married had failed because it was choice that I wanted and it was not the choice that God had for me. I can not change the past but I had learned from this situation that God had my back. I was going through a divorce and did not have anything to my name but God made a way for me to have a job. It was not the idea job but it paid the bills. I was so heartbroken by how I was done by this person who said that they loved me and made vows to me. All of it was a mirage and all I had left in the end was my pride. I had to start over my whole life. God took me out of a situation, tore me down, and rebuilt me as a new person. Thank you God for giving me a second chance to start over new and just focus on getting to where I wanted to be in my career.

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And Her Name is Me

Mental Health is very important to me as a person because I am warrior who has overcame Depression. Depression is not often talked about where I grew up at. As I get older you still have things that can trigger your emotions. “Are you prepared to overcome these emotions of what you are feeling?”

I remember buying this album when I was in college studying. I did not love myself as a person. I was looking love in all of the wrong places because I have never experience that feeling in my life and I often saw it in movies. I was never told I was pretty or received complements or had great encouragement in my younger life.

My first official time in experiencing that feeling was by my college friends who I had that real connection with like a family. These people taught me how to “Love Myself” and letting me know that my situation was not ideal at all. I had learned in my younger years how to have confidence in myself and know I had friends who cared for my well being.

One of the biggest regrets I wish I would have should have chosen myself more when I trying to be in relationships with the opposite sex. I easily learned that it was not to be in the situation that I was in. I had met this guy my freshman year and we had a lot in common. He was an upperclassman at the time. Things changed my sophomore year in our relationship and yes he started to show who he really was, “Player”. I really did not know what to do because I was inexperience with being in a relationship and very naive with myself. I wanted the attention when I should have chosen myself. This person made me hate myself even more and change me into someone I knew I never was. Instead of seeking the wrong attention I should have chose “Myself”.

Now that I am older I have learned to wait for the right person and wait on God’s timing and not my timing. I did things that I wanted to do and not by God’s timing. I have learned to be a stronger person and learn from my mistakes. Yes we are humans and do make mistakes. I have learned to forgive myself and chose “Me”.

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Posted on by Cam

It’s Okay to Cry

This blog post is about Mental Health and how important it is to take care of yourself.

As a career woman I have been through stressing situations at my work place where I did not have a work life balance to rest and reflect. It’s easy to get burned out at a job when you are good at what you do and no one wants to help these users.

I may look strong on the outside but I am emotional on the inside. Deal with work stress has caused me to cry, become an alcoholic, and feel unworthy of being a human.

I remember when I started a new job in a new city and how hard it was to transition to what I was used to working for and with it. I was introduced to the Good Ole Boys club. Women were not respected in this area or promoted. During this time of life I was stressed out with this new place and knowing that it was not fair at all. I was doing all of this work and not being paid my worth at all. There would be times I would go to the bathroom to go cry to relive my stress. Sometimes it would turn into going into a conference room or the car to do so.

I have experienced stress in a workspace but not like this. I was holding down a whole company that’s around the world by myself. The worst feeling I ever felt was working during Covid and being the only one on my team going in. During that time I was not recognized for doing that or even promoted. I was told I did not deserve a promotion or raise by a manager who barely knew me and he gave someone a raise who was barely working for 6 months. It was not fair to me and yes I was heartbroken inside. I was upset and I started to cry and ball my eyes out. Stress, unfairness, and loss of insight of where I was going in my career was on my mind. The thoughts I had in my mind is “Working in Information Technology as Woman worth it” and “Do I give the fight to for future woman in my career”.

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